once a year

Once a year I hate the farm.

I hate the heat.

I hate the flies.

I hate that my husband is always gone, and when he is home he is so tired he just wants to go to sleep. I hate that I am kicking it like a single mother.

I hate the dirt that gets tracked into my house.

I hate the weeds in the garden.

I hate the boxes of produce that I have to spend all day canning/drying/freezing. 

These stressful blessings I have, huh? I have husband who provides for our little family so I can have my DREAM JOB, to be a momma & homemaker. I have a garden overflowing with berries and veggies of every sort, an orchard with so much fruit on the branches that it can't even hold on to them, and a beautiful home that get to live in and take care of. 

Once a year I need an attitude adjustment. 

I have been running on empty and mainly diet coke as I have been so sleep deprived with my favorite smooshy girl. Sometimes I hold her and she is crying, and I just cry, too.It is hard to be so tired. I have been cranky with my husband who is just as, and most days more tired than I am from working long days in the hot sun. 

Today as I watched him teach Sunday school I was reminded of all the reasons I fell in love with him- underneath a layer of dirt and exhaustion is that confident, smart, witty man who happens to look very handsome in a suit and tie. I am happy he is my person. I need to be nicer to my person. He works so hard for Elsie Lou & I. As I packed up his roast beef and mashed potatoes dinner in a tupperware today, to deliver to him on a tractor my heart was filled with gratitude for him. Marriage is hard. Farm life is hard. Being a mother is hard. But I am so very blessed and so very grateful to be the farm wife. 

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she's 5 months

I still can't get the girl to smile for my big camera! A serious shot will have to do. 

I gave in. This cutie eats a little meal of pureed food before bed, after she nurses. Dessert? She LOVES food.  She must be a Goodrich. Nobody really refrained from giving her "tastes" of things since she was far too small, and I feel like she is very ready for a little something extra. She opens her mouth when I get a drink of water and pants like "me too!! please me too!!" She usually gets a sip. What am I talking about, she always gets a sip of water. You really can't resist an Elsie Lou.  The best part about her little meal of solids is that rather than decreasing the amount she nurses, she actually nurses A LOT more- which is a big relief to me after her small appetite last month. She is still a little picky though, she nurses most in the evenings at night, and if I want to get a good day feed I sometimes have to carry her around while I feed her. 

I attribute it to her being a genius and far too interested in the world. I know every momma thinks their baby is a gorgeous genius but this little one is really clever. I love how social and responsive she is, smiling her favorites and recognizing her daddy and other family members. He sat down next to me the other day and put his head down because he was so tired and she reaches over and puts her little hands on his face, and plays with his facial hair. It is one of the sweetest things I have ever seen. She can read short books and count to 5. KIDDING! But it won't be long, I am telling you. 

She can sit up for a little bit in tri-pod position, with her hands out in front of her. She is not a fan though! She wants to stand. Her fine motor skills are getting so much better and she loves all things sparkly. Earrings, watches, she wants them. Preferably in her mouth. 

She is either teething or... I have no idea. She gets to gumming things really aggressively. When she wakes up and I cuddle her she really enjoys gumming my face. Kisses? Not the most slobbery I have ever had, really.

She is still a swaddled baby. I don't make an effort to keep her in, but it's her sleep cue. She calms right down. She can sleep alright when she busts loose in the night, but she really needs it to get to sleep. She does a midnight and a 4 am feeding most nights. I am still pretty exhausted, but being her momma is so rewarding. I feel so blessed to be able to be a stay at home with her!

I can't believe how fast she is growing!! Love my little one. 

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