I have loved you for always.
Long before your first kicks or coos.
You were always mine
From the days when you were just a dream baby
I loved you when you grew inside my tummy
Even when you left deep stretch marks on my side
If that is what I had to pay for you, then of course it was worth it
If you could see my heart- it would probably look the same
Stretched beyond capacity
With all my love
And also pain
Because you're sad is my sad
And with how much my love grows for you each day it's also torn
by how quickly each day goes by
I rock you and sing to you before bed
Feeling already that I will miss this very much someday
For this is what I was meant to be-
a mother
Saturday, January 16, 2016
39 weeks.
Baby girl the second is showing no signs of busting a move on out of my womb anytime soon. She is very comfy in there, as opposed to myself out here carrying her. I have somewhat lost control of both my bladder and emotions. The last days are such a waiting game! However, I have settled in and have just become contented with the fact that I will go past my due date like with Elsie Lou. I am just so very excited to meet her and for her to join our family!!!! This pregnancy has been SO DIFFERENT. For starters- I never retained water like I did with miss E. I retained A TON of water with that lovey child. At this point I have gained about 20 pounds less than I did the first time. Also Elsie was a large beach ball shape, and this baby is more watermelon. She is all out front!! People would leap out of their way in my first pregnancy to open doors and grab me shopping carts. This time people often are talking to me and then say "Oh I didn't realize you were pregnant!" That isn't to say that all people feel this way- I still have had my fair share of tactless comments aimed my way. There is no escaping it in pregnancy though! Either you are too big or too small- It doesn't matter. Someone will have an opinion and decide it's their job to share it with you. My carpal tunnel and sleepless nights have been fewer. I attribute most of these changes to chasing around Lou all day! I am constantly on the go this time and am probably eating better since I make sure Lou eats well throughout the day. I am trying to stay busy and trying to make my days count, rather than counting my days. Here's to our soon to be family of four!!!
OH! And a binky free update for Lou- to anyone who wonders if there is light at the end of the dark tunnel of pacifier-free doom. THERE IS. And it took two weeks of the hardest days of my life to get us there. I truly truly struggled knowing whether or not I was doing the right thing. I just kept on thinking of that quote that goes something to the tune of, " the temptation to quit will be greatest right before you see success", and we were already too far down the rabbit hole to turn back. I have my happy girl back, she sleeps better than she ever did with it, and get this- SHE DOESN'T EVEN ASK FOR IT! So there. You can do hard things, too. I have learned so many lessons with miss Lou I feel so much more prepared for baby on the way. Sorry, first child, the learning curve has been impressive.I think the biggest lesson though is that motherhood is tough, and nobody has it all figured out. It's not for the faint of heart, this parenting stuff, because it takes your entire heart, and then some.
OH! And a binky free update for Lou- to anyone who wonders if there is light at the end of the dark tunnel of pacifier-free doom. THERE IS. And it took two weeks of the hardest days of my life to get us there. I truly truly struggled knowing whether or not I was doing the right thing. I just kept on thinking of that quote that goes something to the tune of, " the temptation to quit will be greatest right before you see success", and we were already too far down the rabbit hole to turn back. I have my happy girl back, she sleeps better than she ever did with it, and get this- SHE DOESN'T EVEN ASK FOR IT! So there. You can do hard things, too. I have learned so many lessons with miss Lou I feel so much more prepared for baby on the way. Sorry, first child, the learning curve has been impressive.I think the biggest lesson though is that motherhood is tough, and nobody has it all figured out. It's not for the faint of heart, this parenting stuff, because it takes your entire heart, and then some.
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