Thursday, December 31, 2015

binky rehab

In short, Lou's' love for her stinkin' bink was getting out of hand, and something needed to be done. I put it off and put it off, because let's face it, binks comfort parents as much as they do babes- leaving home without a bink in my diaper bag felt akin to leaping out of a plane with no parachute. After reading several articles on pinterest, I chose to have her help me gather them up into a gift bag. We left them out on the porch and Elliott ran around the house, chucked the binks and filled the bag with some m &m's and a note from the mysterious binky fairy. That was almost three days ago.

There came a time in binky rehab when I found myself  trying to lure my wild lou girl out from behind a couch with a bowl of ice cream ,that, my job felt more like wild animal tamer than loving mother. Especially after that failed and I ended  up tossing a blanket over her like a net and swaddling her up tight in hopes of calming the bear ( have you ever tried to swaddle an almost two year old?? for the record this pretty much worked) And this is only because I took the binky at the same time that she is cutting her 2 year molars, which is possibly the worst time I could have chosen, ever. Mother of the year over here! It is times like this when I crawl into bed with a heavy heart knowing I will be woken up in few hours by a sad babe that I think " I have no idea what I am doing whatsoever."  Because while there are hundreds of articles of getting rid of pacifiers ( trust me, I have read them), there are none on getting rid of pacifiers from Elsie Lou, and what to do when I can't get her to eat anything and she goes into a low blood sugar rage and wakes up in the night demanding that she have a bow in her hair right then and there and doesn't go back to sleep for 2 hours. Because no babe is the same and no momma is the same. I have the doting mother thing down, but tough love is not something that I came equipped with. I just have to resign myself to a quote I pinned the other day that says "The fact that you worry about being a good mother means you already are one". I hope it's true because I sure tell myself this a lot.  I certainly feel best on the days where I can get by without any Curious George involved and she eats well rounded meals on cute little sectioned plates and the dishes get done before I pass out from it all- but we have to get real sometimes. As real as my acid reflux and 36 week pregnant waddle. Right?! Here is to ringing in the new year with hopes of being over the bink for good ( because right now I think we all have ptsd and could use some family counseling ( insert sobbing emoji)) making our family of three a family of four, and surviving a little better next year than I did this year. Maybe even some thriving involved!! Here's to you mommas of littles, who are choosing to spend your twenties in what so some might seem pretty un-fancy- but is in fact the most important thing we will ever do or could do. Mom power! ( I don't know when this turned from a self deprecating saga of binky loss into a pep talk but I appreciate it all the same)

Happy New Year! May we all go down a yoga pants size and get a full nights rest.

Thursday, December 17, 2015

dear 21 month old

Dear Elsie Lou,

You are 21 months old.  I am not okay with how quickly you are growing up, but I couldn't be more proud of you. You have the biggest heart, and your hugs and "I wuv woo's" fill my heart to overflowing. You are bright and determined, you are passionate and funny. You love an audience and feed off the energy of large gatherings. In church you like to open the hymn book and lead the music yourself, flipping through each page. You love to wrap up your babies and take such sweet care of them, I know you will be the best big sister. Our most read book is Curious George and the puppies. You love to go for walks and to be outdoors. In the bathtub you like to sing songs with me, you love book of Mormon stories. You like to take me by the hand and pull me to whatever activity you are working on and need me to join in. You still love to be held. Now when I sing you a song before bed, you sing along the words you know. I could kiss your chubby cheeks all day and I hope you always keep your hand dimples. You are generally very well behaved when we are out and about and you make things fun and silly. You finally will stay and play in nursery, even though I still check on you frequently, peeking in through window to see how you are doing. It's hard for me to let other people take care of you. You have recently gone from calling me "momma" to "mommy" and "dada" to "daddy". It makes you sound so grown up. If I ask you if you are a baby or tot you tell me " TOT!" with a surety. We like to play music during the day and you like to grab my hands and say "dance!"  I am so very very grateful to be your mother, it is my greatest joy, and you are the greatest little person.