Monday, August 26, 2013

engulfed in powerful winds and also rain

Before I became the farmwife, I used to really enjoy storms! When I was little we would lay out on the trampoline with my dad and count until the lightning would strike and try to predict the next loud bang of lightning. Storms were exciting and entertaining.  Now it's chaos!! AHHH harvest that! Get the geese, get the chicken off the grill, runnnnn!

The sirs went to harvest what they could of the sugar beet seed before it hit, and I got to chauffeur them around- taking them to different trucks since it is Sunday and we didn't have any extra hands. It is nice to be needed in that way sometimes (i.e. twice a year maybe).

Doesn't look like we were about to be engulfed in powerful winds and rains does it!! Anywhoo the power went off and hubs and I played the farming game (we just can't escape it can we) and ate cake by candlelight. It ended too soon. I just loved it.

In other news, we have a new kitty. Hubs and I don't have tons in common besides our mutual love and devotion to one another and also macaroni and cheese , but we both have a major soft spot in our hearts for our animal friends. This meow was crying from under a car in the church parking lot, so we obvs coaxed it out and took it to it's grand new home on the farm! It was so hungry. Poor thing. You may get eaten by a coyote but you will not be hungry!

And lets face it there is going to be a lot of bump watch going on here. Give me a B! For bloated? I don't know but we have got something going on people. A lot of blogs post week by week pregnancy pictures, and I finally see one that looks similar to mine, and guess what they are having twins. I am not. Errybody's different! I am just ready for some elastic waistbands. I am talking full panel. Lets make that happen.


Friday, August 23, 2013

pep talk

Since I have found out about our little baby, I have had this panic realization that "MOTHERS HAVE THEIR LIVES TOGETHER" and crap I have months to attain this martha stewart homemade cinnamon rolls in the morning never any laundry waiting to be folded on the couch perfection. The mother that I imagined myself being is not the semi chaotic 22 year old that stands before you today. I  have always thought that in order to have more control over the cleanliness of my house, organization of my personal life ect, that I needed more structure, more self discipline, more checklists. While all those things are important, what has been entirely more effective for me is realizing, hey guess what you are a human being. Just because thursday is deep clean bathrooms and that didn't happen it is not the end of the world, and you shouldn't throw your whole cleaning plan to the birds. Before babies need a perfect momma mainly they just need love. And I have plenty of that. Love excess over here.  Be gentle with your human self. You're trying.

 Plus, martha stewart was once a convict or something. So you've already got one up on her. Good job, general law obeyer you. You don't want to be martha. Just you, making baby steps towards being a little better today than you were yesterday, alright?


Thursday, August 22, 2013


The cat is out of the bag and the beans have been spilled people!! I am a human incubator!!!! Anyone that knows me personally is aware that I have been baby hungry FOREVER. I have always wanted to be a mother more than anything, and was so excited when the time came where we could give it a go without interfering with finishing school,(which after you've tossed in as much moola as we have into the deal, is important).

First of all I was pretty positive it was going to take me forever to get pregnant. My grandmother took a few years, and so did my mother. They all had success, but it took time. After month two of trying I was pretty positive that  I was in the same boat as my favorite blogger Nat the Fat Rat, and the lovely women who came before me. I felt for these women. But I did not give up! The month of our anniversary rolled around, and I just had this good feeling. I just decided, this month, would be THE month. I picked out my doctor, prayed A LOT  and obviously eh you know on exactly the right days. And may or may not have spent extensive time with my hips in the air thinking positive thoughts. Is that tmi?  Yes. Moving on.

After month one I wised up and started buying the cheapy tests, because that can get pricey! So I have these questionable tests, and here it is the month of June. I test. 2 days earlier than recommended. Because that is how patient I am. I see the negative line start to appear and trash the thing. What garbage! What nonsense. This was supposed to be my month. The next morning I peek in that very scented garbage bag. You know, just to reaffirm. And to my freaking utter and complete surprise that stick had two lines on it. WHICH MEANS POSITIVE. Which means success. Which means PREGNANT. Mind blown & life changed. I could keep going. (and obvs I tested again for good  measure. and then had my blood drawn for even greater measure)

I told hubs in possibly the dumbest way ever, insomuch that we aren't even going to discuss it right now.

Anywhoo, pregnancy is so many things all rolled into one. Some of them contradictions. I've never felt so happy, or more sensitive- more beautiful, or more bloated- more excited or more nervous. Days where I could hardly keep anything down were tough, but so were days when I felt great, thinking " are you ok in there little bub!?" I learned to just knock that off though, and just enjoy the days where I could look food in the face and eat while I could, and the sickies would always make their way back.

My first ultrasound was nothing short of magical. Elliott had to bail last minute for a farm emergency caused by the storm, so I drove up all by myself and sat there and waited. My doctor was gone, they pulled me in late, and being alone had made me nervous. That tiny human being popped up on the screen moving his or her tiny legs like it was the happiest ever, just content, just relaxing in my tummy.  My tiny baby.

I am so excited for this new chapter in  my life! Goodbye job, goodbye pants properly fitting! Hello student teaching and preparing to be a mother!!

                                            the toilet and I became best puke time friends