Sunday, October 6, 2013

on growing a person

It's a hard thing to stay focused on school work when my tiny tummy buddy is having a dance party. At 19 weeks, I have felt the baby pretty consistently for a while now. I love to lay down on the couch and wait for the tiny little kicks that I can feel, mostly on the inside still, but sometimes the babe really wants to say hello and I can feel it on the outside, too.  I tell myself, ok, you can lay here and try to feel the baby for 5 minutes. And 5 turns to 10. And ten to 15. It never really gets old, the fact that I planned, hoped & prayed for this little baby, and it is in there, getting bigger everyday!

Sometimes it baffles my mind to think that when hubs was 22 he was foot loose and fancy free at BYU - going around being all brash and good looking and Elliott-like, and I at 22 have been married for two years and am expecting a child. I have been pondering that for maturity's sake. And then I cut myself a break majorly.

The elementary school jog-a-thon was earlier this week and whenever their is a fun run I feel the need to run my heart out, and win whatever cardboard medal is available regardless of training or lack thereof. I couldn't do it!! I jogged at a comfortable pace for most of the hour, but my potty breaks knocked me out of the race, and I was really trying to make sure I didn't over-do it, with plenty of water breaks & slowing down if I needed to.

FALL IS HERE and I can't shun my cooking/baking urges. Before I knew how to cook, I always hoped that I would like it, and had this idea of me enjoying cooking and making things and as it turns out, I have a domestic bone or two in this bod!! I just want to feed everybody stuff. Like the oatmeal fudge bars I made today. I didn't even want them. I just wanted to feed them to people and feel the gratification of making something people enjoy. Maybe those are pre-motherly feelings coming to life.

Ultimately this is just turning into a directionless rant which I should end because I am pretty positive I have a load of school work to do!


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